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[sticky post] Live.

Muh Life.
Life comes with no guarantees.
No time outs;
no second chances.
You have just one life to live to its fullest potential; if you spend it wisely, once is enough.

As we grow up:
We learn that even the person believed to never let us down, may do just that. You’ll have your heart broken. You’ll make mistakes that break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend. Maybe you'll even fall in love with them. Blame cures no ails, take responsibility. You won't always understand your actions but you'll still have to face the consequences--accept; you may never be able to comprehend what compelled you, but you can choose to learn, regardless. Someday you'll realize your mother or father is a person--fallible as all others and they have their own demons to hone. You'll wish you truly forgave, instead of pretending to forget. You'll wish you'd laughed more. You'll wish you took more pictures to save precious memories. You’ll cry because time is flying by--and as an adult, one day you'll realize: you can never get it back.

Tell someone what they mean to you. Speak up. Speak out. Choose your battles carefully but fight fiercely for what you believe in. Hold someone’s hand when they need it--even if they're a stranger. Dance in the pouring rain with a child and understand what happiness is. Stay up until you giggle at nothing and feel the magical hum of drifting into sleep. Comfort a friend, even when you don't agree with their choices. Watch the sun come up. Stare at the ocean and know there are things so much bigger than you. Own your beauty, no matter how anyone else makes you feel. Smile until your face hurts. Drive on a winding road without a destination. Don’t be afraid to take chances. Follow your first instinct--the next one is not always what's best. Always remember, a simple "hello" can lead to a million possibilities.

The best laid plans can fall apart--pushing yourself too far won't change what you can't control. Every month, plan a day of nothing and go where your heart takes you--even if it's deep between your sheets. Fall in love. Learn when it's time to move on and do so without regret. Remember--what you've been through in the past is what made you who you are today. Cherish the good with the bad, because one has no meaning without the other. Live in the moment, because every second you spend angry or ambivalent is a second of happiness you can never get back.
Remember;
and step forward

30 weeks

Muh Life.
when he was arrested
kidnapping
misdemeanor
felony
rape
held
extradited
arraigned
bailed
bound over
continued

i became overpoured by
fear court fury stalking phone calls questions anger dispatch convinced police mayhem lawyers anger fear
district attorney victim's advocate misdemeanor felony law
fear
rules privilege caution quiet silence
humiliation desperation consulting silence
anger
interviews questions fear abandonment questions recklessness fear
illness
questions
blackness
loss
bitter
lonesome questions alone
alone
lone
nothing.

in January
I thought: "it happened. i have finally hit bottom."

but; now,
it just






keeps






going,
on

protect me

Muh Life.
When handing down her ruling
from her bench, the judge said;
she would be damned before she would ever allow any man to push her into the backseat of a car...
so I could give him the opportunity to keep raping me.




I wish I could have been her.
It must be
beautiful;
to be.
Muh Life.
after you stepped on me:
I saw you wait for me to cave in.
once you lost that one way, Shrouded view:
I watched you realize... you have no more ground to weigh.
so tell me, baby: how's it feel to be the one who's Down?

I'm sure, by now, you Know:
you bit off so much more than you could really chew...



doll, that whole Shoal can't help you. and
Trust me when I say: no one that could,
ever



Would.

Yeah, no.

Muh Life.

No H8--I just got nothin' 4u, bruh.

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